Had a good day, nice and autumn like, a couple of good friends got me an ipod for my birthday and it came today, took me a while to figure it out but I got it now and have some nice calming songs on it, I was thinking about using it while I sleep, sometimes any little sound keeps me awake.
Had a good night last night for a while, was enjoying a good scary ghost movie and they snuck in scenes of people being tortured and I freaked out, everything came back and all I could do was sit there and stare in a complete numbed way, it was hard for me to be like that, I actually cried a little. But I took my pills and went to bed and knew I would feel better when I woke up.
A friend gave me a site that screens movies so I guess I will have to start using that, have to be careful about what I see now and that sucks, but it's better than losing my mind again.
So now im going to go play with my guinea pigs and then start on housework early since I go to bed early now.
And im hoping tomoroww my neices don't stress me out too much or my mom for that matter, but I think im learning how to not let her get to me, that will be a nice way to be.
Being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia has turned my world upside down and inside out. I have never felt so alone in all my life, finding out people are not real, nothing was real. It's hard and scary for me now, 28 years of this and I don't know what to do now. This is a blog for me to talk about my fears and stuff.
No comments:
Post a Comment